My Time at Portia: Gather, mine, and craft as you explore, adventure, and rebuild your workshop.What? It’s not like Portia’s bachelor scene has options, and besides, he has a pet pig. It’s dropped by Plierimps and Chemical Dropouts in the Sewage Plant, but that’s a detour of about four in-game hours and if I don’t queue up this concrete by 02:00, I won’t finish the conveyor project before my date with Gust tomorrow. So I gotta go mine the copper ore, but fuck, I’m also out of tempering liquid. So I gotta finish the bus station and the generator and Arlo’s spaghetti, process the copper ore – fuck, I’m out of copper ore. Gotta finish this wind turbine and upgrade my chicken coop first, though. “Yo, where can I get some dank weed?” is probably unavailable until I increase my rep. “Yo, what’s up with the talking bear in pyjamas?” isn’t ever a dialogue choice with other NPCs, but I guess that’s the wrong question, anyway. One of Portia’s residents is a talking bear in pyjamas. It’s fish and two other ingredients chosen entirely at random, Dawa, it’s not that complicated. More totally incompetent locals who keep asking me to help them out with super basic shit like “please cook this soup that my grammy used to make us, it’s a secret family recipe but I can’t make it myself for some reason, lol”. I mean, it’s the more of the same, but it’s also got more of those same things. I can’t even tell you that My Time at Portia innovates or improves much on the genre – it’s more of the same. Okay, so instead of a farm, it’s a workshop, and instead of Sebastian, it’s this pretentious snob Gust, but now I’m making excuses because Sebastian was actually also a pretentious snob. My Time at Portia is a lot like Stardew Valley, it’s not even subtle about it, so I can’t pretend this was some kind of mistake. Just twenty minutes, thirty tops, maybe an hour or so – but that’s it.” I’m sorry. I know I have a problem with repetitive, unproductive, meaningless, monotonous resource management chore sims, but it was free on Game Pass.
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